Be Careful For What You Ask For

How many of you have heard of the saying "Ask and you shall receive"? Ok - great concept, but how does it actually work? Many thinkers, religious, new age and scientific have been exploring this puzzle in recent years.

Have you ever decided that you need to buy a washing machine and then suddenly noticed there is a rush of companies advertising washing machines? What about if you are expecting a baby - noticed how many people are pregnant around you?

This is due to a part of your brain called the reticular activating system. The reticular activating system (RAS) is at the base of the brain stem and expands into the mid brain (neo cortex). It controls your sleep and arousal patterns and contributes to your focus of attention and levels of motivation.

You are bombarded by thousands of pieces of information every second - you need to sort this data into meaningful chunks and filter out non-relevant pieces of information otherwise you would overload. Your RAS does this for you. Your RAS is a bit like a computer where you set the program to filter out what you want, so only the important bits get through.

Thanks for the science lesson Ingrid, but what does this have to do with me, you may be asking? What you program your mind through your RAS to look out for - that is what you get.

If you program it to look for washing machines or pregnant ladies - that is what you see everywhere. The reality is that there are no more ads or pregnancies than before, it is just that you can see them now. If you program your mind to see the good in others, then that is what you see.

There is a Buddhist teaching story that tells of a wise monk sitting at a crossroads. A family walked up to him and asked "Tell us about the village up ahead. We are looking for a nice new home to live in." The monk replied "Tell me about what the people were like where you came from". "They were horrible, always fighting, crime was a problem and people were not helpful to each other". "Sadly, the next village is the same" replied the monk. Another family walked up to the monk.

"Tell us about the village up ahead. We are looking for a nice new home to live in." The monk replied "Tell me about what the people were like where you came from". "They were wonderful, very generous and supportive of each other." "The next village is the same" replied the monk.

Now you get the basic idea, let's take it that bit further.

Your Reticular Activating System (RAS) and Goals.

When you have clearly defined goals, what you are doing is setting your RAS to look for and sort information that will support your goals. If you have fuzzy goals, then your RAS will present you with fuzzy information and fuzzy outcomes.

The reverse also happens - if you set goals that are too narrow or limiting, then that is what you will receive.

To give you an example, I was talking with a businesswoman whose company had just closed. I was debriefing her about what she had done and what she could do differently next time as part of a grieving/closure ceremony. She was still stunned.

"I can't believe it she said. I was set some very specific goals in the past month". "Tell me about them" I asked.

"Well, I asked all my staff to make 100 appointments for free sessions with my business. I set each person an individual target of appointments to achieve and the time within which to achieve them". "So what happened" - I asked."

Well, they achieved their targets, we had 100 appointments booked. The problem was that none of the appointments converted to paying customers. Some didn't turn up, most couldn't afford our services and many just wanted the free session."

"So you actually got what you asked for. Did you set any goals for conversion to paying customers?"

A look of horror passed over her face as she realized what had happened "No - we got exactly what we asked for - appointments, not customers!"Lets leave aside the question of demographics, correct target marketing and qualifying clients for a moment. What she asked for she got 100%. The trouble was, she only asked for part of what she really wanted.

Lessons from Prayer

So does this mean that you have to be 100% crystal clear on exactly what you want? Not exactly. While there is a lot of research currently going on about RAS, there is also a lot of work going on about the power of prayer. Just key in "Power of Prayer" into Google and have a look at some of the nearly 3 million links. Research has been conducted on prayer and heart patients, IVF patients, burns patient, AIDS patients and the list goes on.

The type of prayer - specific "please heal Ms Jones of her lumbago" compared to more general - "If it is for her highest good, please heal Ms Jones", has also been the subject of research. It appears from the research that non-specific prayer is more effective than specific prayer and people are advised to leave the outcomes in the hands of the higher being or God (depending on your personal beliefs).

This provides us with some interesting lessons. The best outcomes come from setting clear goals, but leaving space for a higher being or God to intervene.

So, how can you set your RAS to best support your goals?

* Start with the basics - work out specifically what goals you are looking for.

* Visualise yourself achieving those goals 100%,

* Experience the emotions around successfully achieving those goals

* Hear the sounds of success

* Add in the thought/feeling "this or better, if for my highest good" as this provides space for God or a higher power to intercede.

Doing this will help you to set your RAS program for goal success.

Next write your goals into present tense, write them as if you have already achieved them and say them repeatedly throughout the month as an affirmation. This will help maintain your RAS program.

Finally, detach from the outcome. Know that whatever happens in your life is perfectly correct. You can learn from the outcome no matter what it is. It is at this point you need to let go and trust.

Positive Thinking - Whatever The Mind Can Conceive

'Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve' - Napoleon Hill.

Our mind is an incredible power whose abilities and powers no one is aware of. Even great scientist are said to have used only a small fragment of their brains capacity. They have proved that a normal human being uses only 10% of his mind and they are also of the opinion that 75% of all sickness the human being confront is due to this 10% mental power. This clearly shows that even the 10% that we use is not optimized or used diplomatically.

Researches conducted in eminent universities clarify the fact that a healthy and positive thinking can ensure a better life or living condition. Today there is so much buzz about hypnosis, self hypnosis etc. the power of the mind is amazing and if only we knew how to incorporate positive thinking into our daily thinking pattern we can lead a much better life free from sickness and mental worries.

Unfortunately people just do the reverse by imbibing negative thinking and outlook which definitely makes their lives miserable. So how can we incorporate a positive thinking in everything that we do? When there are so many negative things around is it possible to successfully follow a positive thinking pattern? Many people do not believe in this attitude but in reality this positive attitude will help them cope with daily issues easily and most of all you see life with optimism.

Positive thinking is nothing but guiding your sub conscious mind to see, feel, hear and experience things positively. It is the choice you make and the attitude you decide to stick to which ensures a positive or a negative pattern in all that you do. We can easily develop positive thinking if we make a commitment towards the goal and had some control over what we think and challenge the negativity we encounter.

We have all heard about the law of attraction which says like poles attract. Same way when we always think about negative things only negative things happen and we are in the habit of viewing things positively we will always encounter positive things in life. People who are depressed are usually negative thinkers and when they go for counseling they are guided to think positively.

Everyone should stop being judgmental as it is another form of negative thinking. Goal setting and advancing towards it with a positive thinking that you will reach the goal will definitely help you to attain the goal. Sportsmen, differently able people, elders and students especially should practice positive thinking and enhance their lives. Winston Churchill rightly said, "a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity and an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty'. Positive people never give up and they learn from even failures. But negative thinkers always look for ways to blame others or crucify others for their own faults.

Changing over to a positive attitude cannot be done overnight. Effort is needed as our minds are already programmed or conditioned to think negatively and see negatively. But the effort that you take is worth million dollars. When your thinking changes your whole life and the incidents changes and you can see the difference instantly. Visualizing and self hypnosis are some of the methods to create positive thinking and it helps to develop a positive attitude. We are what we think we are so expert's advice to visualize ourselves as what we wish to become constantly.

Visualizing something regularly can create a positive atmosphere in which it will definitely happen. That does not mean you can visualize about going to mars everyday. Your goal and passion should be attainable and fair. Mental visualization will take you closer to your goal mentally and you will automatically be driven towards it as every action of yours will be then focused towards what you visualize. Self hypnosis also helps you to repeat to yourself what you should do and achieve it is like hypnotizing yourself to do something undeterred by any other distractions. So positive thinking will lead to positive atmosphere where you will encounter and see only positive things happening. And here's a sample positive thinking to finally establish my point positively,

"Instead of thinking about what you are missing, try thinking about what you have, that everyone else is missing".

Tapping into Personal Motivation

Does the word "Motivation" have a charge for you? Do you notice that when you get ready to begin certain projects curious personal behaviors emerge? Have you noticed the desire to stop reading this article altogether? This topic can be a bit overwhelming.

How many of us have listened to "motivational speakers" and wanted someone to just, oh, I don't know, perhaps shush them up!!! Or how about reading books on motivation and finding that you don't even have the motivation to finish the book? As a human and a coach this issue comes up often. The common thread is that many of us have behaviors that seem to undermine the desire to complete something that we really want to do.

I looked up the word "motivation" in my dictionary and could not find a definition. I was going to leave it at that and thought, "Well, since I am writing an article on this subject, I probably could be a bit more thorough" (a curious behavior of mine is sometimes giving up too quickly!). So, I read further and found the definition for "motivate."

Motivate means: to provide with a motive.

This was interesting, though this did not say much. I read further, I was becoming more motivated now to find a definition that I could work with to make this an interesting and exciting article that would inspire readers! Here was the next definition I found.

Motive means: an inner urge that prompts a person to action with a sense of purpose.

Much better! So there is an "inner urge" and a "sense of purpose," and the only part that can hinder us is the "action." Let's play with this a bit. The first step is to notice the "inner urge." Maybe you have an inner urge to clean out your closet, paint a wall a different color, or write a book. Give this urge a voice. Maybe you could write about it, talk about it, or read about it.

The next step is to get clear about what this "sense of purpose" is for you. Maybe the clutter in your house is driving you nuts and you are tired of feeling crazy. Your purpose for painting may be that your walls were painted "dusty rose" in the 80's and you just want to bring in a more modern feel. The book? Well, that has been a secret dream for years and the purpose is to share something with the world that is uniquely you.

Now it's time to get clear about what needs to be in place in order for you to take "action." Maybe you need to set aside more time or save more money. For larger projects finding supportive people to talk to may be helpful. Maybe you need an organized space for creativity. Being honest with yourself about what needs to be in place will support you in taking that action that could make your life a lot less crazy, a lot more modern and a lot more creative.

Take some time to release the charge around how you motivate and watch yourself!